Life lately

Lately lots of things are happening:

My SIP (Senior Integration project), my big senior 30 page thesis paper needs to be finished...today. (Yikes!)

Today begins scholarship weekend so there are lots of high school seniors flocking to campus.

My car has been making strange noises and I'm afraid if I don't get it looked at soon the whole thing will just fall apart.

I have books to read, papers to write, friends to see.

I've got responsibilities- like making sure the trash gets put out, making dinner, cleaning the kitchen, paying my bills.

I've got people who are heavy on my heart, that I feel called to pray for.

I've got jobs to search and apply for.

Meanwhile, I'm sitting here in the library and I keep coming to this place where I long for the future, I long for the next phase, for a new beginning, but for a consistent me. I am me, but yet I am growing and changing and learning. I am not who I was when I set out for this mountain almost 4 years ago.

The last 4 years have been sweet, filled with good friends, late nights pulling all nighters because of homework and some not for homework. Fun hall dinners in the great hall, afternoons reading on the chapel lawn, soccer games at scotland yard, stargazing on shadowlands field, morning chapels, and being pushed and challenged and encouraged to be who God has made me to be.

Its a scary things to leave the known and move into the unknown. Its an even scarier thing when that unknown includes, no job, no place to live, and lots of student debt, at least as of now. Not that I will be living on the street, my parents are far too gracious and wonderful for that. But the training wheels are coming off. Mom and dad are standing in the distance along with all my friends and professors and saying, "Good luck out there! Don't fall off!"And they send me on my way.

But the Lord's hand is steady, and it is never failing. He is gracious and compassionate and He has a plan that is better than mine. If ever there were a time where I am all in having to depend solely on the Lord, that time is now. Leaving the known, the predictable, even at times the monotonous and heading into unknown, murky waters, filled with fears and loan payments. Oh Boy!


Here are two things that have been inspiring me lately,

I have been listening to this one song by Bailey Cooke for the last several days. Its just so good.

And a quote by C.S. Lewis

"Indeed, if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased." 

- "The Weight of Glory"